Lacking Motivation.

I'm currently in my second and final year of sixth form studying English Literature, Geography, Maths and General Studies (if you can even call that a real subject). When I was at school I was extremely motivated and driven to achieve the best. I also began my college life with this same mindset, enrolling in the Gifted and Talent programme and still wanting to be number one. However by January 2011 I hit a wall and now in March 2012 I'm still staring at it.

It is really hard to describe how I feel but I will try none-the-less. I still have some sort of drive to succeed, I need ABB to get onto my course next year (granted I get through the next round of interviews) and when I do do poorly, I am still hard on myself. However I just can't seem to be able to revise and do my homework. For instance, my final draft of my english lit coursework is due in tomorrow and I am sitting here writing this. I have been staring blankly at the screen for a good three hours and I've only edited one page out of the six. I know that I need at least an A on this essay because I want something solid to go into the exam in the summer with but yet I just can not be bothered.

Same applies for all of my subjects. It is mock week next week and I am nowhere near ready to sit any exams. I find it so hard because I was the best when I was at school. I know it sounds big headed and I'm not the type to brag but I was great at GCSE and it just sucks that I'm only middle of the road now. I did go to college with the idea that it would be fairly easy because I sat an AS Level whilst at school with only one hour a week lesson time and I was one mark off an A so I therefore assumed that I'd find college just as easy- could I be any more wrong?

I've decided that I'm going to stop ranting to you guys about how demotivated I am and do something about it, like finish my English coursework by 8pm.

Em xox